Before the semester starts, I want to record some of my thoughts reflecting on the work done this summer and the work to be done over the next months and years.
NCAR
The trip to NCAR was a good experience. It was too short, though. Two weeks is not long enough. I still have a lot to figure out regarding WRF/Chem, and there are only a few people around who will be able to answer my questions. I’m having trouble keeping all of the procedures, tricks, and methods straight in my head, so I need to document what I learn and document the troubles I have with it. I also need to determine my future research goals so I can cater WRF/Chem to that end.
Research
I didn’t do any real research during my undergraduate career, with the exception of my senior thesis. I didn’t take advantage of any of the REU opportunities, nor did I try to get credit through lab work or research. At the time, I figured I would be going to industry when I completed my degree, and that I wouldn’t really need research experience. I’m feeling the cost of that mindset right now.
I am enjoying the work I’m doing now, but I often feel like I’m flailing around in the dark. I’m throwing together figures and paper sections without a well-defined research goal. I can feel some form of research narrative emerging in the paper, but it’s elusive and slippery. I really need to sit down and figure out what I want to do these next several years, what opportunities and resources I have available, and how to fit my goals with the bounds of the projects and work that will be paying for my education. I’m nervous. There is a lot to determine and solidify.
Research Paper
Beyond enjoying my research, I’m enjoying the act of writing this research paper. It’s been awhile since I had a big writing project, and there is a joy in trying to craft phrases, concepts, and information into a coherent structure. I’m comfortable with converting raw data into figures, although it took me a long time to get to this point. I can create figures all day long, but that would not be research. Rather, I need to pick a few main points, craft the structure and argument and figures to support these points, and then smooth everything out. Very few people are going to read this paper, and very few people are going to think hard about it, or incorporate it into their work. But I need to convince those few people that I know what I’m doing, that my message is accurate, coherent, and useful, and that it’s worthy of publication. I have a lot to learn. Particularly regarding…
The Philosophy of Science
I’d currently call myself an atmospheric scientist. But I feel like I’m missing the philosophical and conceptual framework that I need to be a good scientist. I have difficulties when I make statements in my writing and research. Am I using deductive or inductive arguments? Is my reasoning rational? Is what I’m doing leading to an actual statement of truth? How do I justify the mind-numbing complexity of the model I’m using? Why should anyone listen to what I am saying? I really need to work my way through the functional basis of science and modeling so that I can be confident and coherent as a modeler and as a scientist. Thankfully, Mary pointed me towards a book that should do just that: the Scientific Method in Practice, written by the Cornellian Hugh Gauch. I’ve started reading this, but it’s slow going. It’s a text book, and I really want to chew on the ideas and internalize the methods and reasoning. I hope to finish it by the end of the semester, and therefore be a more confident scientist and researcher by then.
Focus
I also feel like I really need to turn up my ability to focus. I have some very specific goals for this semester (write the paper, take one class, learn WRF/Chem) and some very vague goals as well (determine my future research, incorporate policy somehow into my work). The more concrete goals are ones that I can discretize and make into checklists (write a methodology section, read Chapter 5, work my way through Exercise 2), and therefore I can move through without a whole lot of reflection. The more general goals, however, require constant reflection and reorientation. I need to find some way to organize my thoughts and wants and form actual goals and targets. I need to focus on them. Focus hard and focus for long periods of time.
I also need to sit down and focus on atmospheric science, chemistry, and modeling. If I’m going to become an atmospheric scientist, I better damn well know atmospheric science. I need to read and read and read, and talk and discuss and make mistakes, and reflect and internalize and question the expanse of data and concepts that are at my finger tips.
People
Finally, I just want to say that I feel blessed (and I’m not one to use this term often) to be surrounded by the people that I am now. I feel open and able to express myself in front of my advisors, professors, and fellow students. I feel comfortable spending my days in the soil and water lab, and thrilled that I’m able to build strong friendships alongside my academic development. After my two weeks in Colorado and two weeks with my family for a vacation, I had a strong desire to get back here and hang out with my Ithacan friends again. I wanted to study, learn, climb, hike, birdwatch, chat, eat, cook, celebrate, drink, and generally be with these people. Many of them are good (or great) acquaintances. A growing number of them are becoming friends. A small (but growing) number of them are becoming good, close friends that I don’t want to lose touch with in the future. Thank you all so much for being the awesome people you are, and making me feel like I actually belong here.
And now I’m ready to take on this semester.
